


Shoulda Been More Specific

by florahart



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Nat saves the day, come on you know this is Thor's fashion sense, rated R for ridiculous, you might think there is Clint/Coulson here if that's your jam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-08
Updated: 2016-09-08
Packaged: 2018-08-13 20:25:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7985092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/florahart/pseuds/florahart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor discovers the world of Midgardian short pants</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shoulda Been More Specific

**Author's Note:**

> This is a microfic written for a kinkmeme prompt, here: http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/21013.html?thread=53646613#t53646613

What it doesn't occur to anyone to tell Thor, and really this says more about the stresses placed on a supergroup that has to slay monsters on the regular than anything else because seriously, how was this going to end, is that when Darcy says he can just wear "shorts and a tank top or something" for their volunteer gig chaperoning disadvantaged youth to the zoo? She does not mean, and has never meant, and would never mean, good grief, shiny gold booty shorts which do not in fact actually cover his very fine asscheeks and a red synthetic fabric of some kind, about a third of a yard of total fabric, max, fashioned into a tank with deeply-scooped away shoulder and neck holes, a million cutouts, and ridiculous pointy ends for tying on the sides. 

Because this is Thor, he's also unironically wearing stompy black boots and steely-gray wool socks, because he likes them, spiky black leather wristbands because, lacking the shoulder bulk of his usual uniform he thought maybe he lacked gravitas, and an honest-to-god 1975 yellow plastic sun visor with rhinestone grommets around the frame.

Tony manages to refrain from cackling long enough to compliment the color scheme.

Steve spends several seconds trying to work out how to explain to Thor that probably it would be very bad if his obviously-enormous highly-apparent definitely-terrifying dick failed to remain (barely) restrained by the shiny gold shorts in the presence of a couple dozen adolescents and the social worker meeting them.

Clint, naturally, takes a picture and sends it to Coulson, who texts back a distressed-looking selfie and the question WHY. WHY DID YOU SEND ME THIS. Yes, in all caps; this is what he's been reduced to.

Natasha vanishes for two minutes, then reappears wearing Bermuda shorts and a hoodie vest, which she immediately complains are too large and does anyone want to trade.

Because he is chivalrous, Thor capitulates almost immediately, and the crisis is averted. Steve sighs deeply with relief. Tony sends pics to Jane "just so she knows." Clint pouts for like half an hour. Coulson shows up looking not panicked because that is not a thing he does, but his eye-corner and forehead crinkles morph from alarmed to amused, so _that_ crisis is averted as well, although for real, Thor/zoo/children is a disaster waiting to happen in any language so probably there will be at least one more.

Darcy, for the record, stays hell and gone from the entire scene and hopes no one remembers she had anything to do with any of it.

But she does keep the pictures.


End file.
